I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
