well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
