I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
