I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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