I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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