Hey man sorry I got all grabby
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
