So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
