Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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