everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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