I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
