No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
