You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
