I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
