Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
