A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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