OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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