do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
