but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
