i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
