Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
