You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
