it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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