how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize