that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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