Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
the liver wants what the liver wants
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
