its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
