so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i think i have herpe
just one?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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