She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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