If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
