I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
