this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I don't deserve a penis
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
