Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
