that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
