I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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