Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
