i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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