fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
