I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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