when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
