is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
