omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
