i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Please don't give away my fajitas
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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