Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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