Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
