I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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