Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
