I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
im holly from the hills drunk
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
