I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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