We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
