Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
this is an emotional support booty call
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
