i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
